7 self confidence anchors every woman wants
When you see a woman full of self confidence what is it you see in her than you want? I am not talking about a woman who looks great in makeup or who is naturally beautiful (because beauty fades and with it so can self confidence) and I am not talking about a woman who is wearing the latest designer fashion and looks great in clothes. Self confidence in this regards focuses on a woman who is free to enjoy life – freedom to live the way you want on your terms and express yourself the way you choose is a big part of being confident. This is a woman who continually works on her own personal growth, she works on being the best person she can be in every moment, learning from her mistakes and owning them when they happen.
Even without makeup, with my hair in a mess and walking around the house in sweats I can still talk, move and be confident. I believe that this is because over the years I have developed 7 anchors of self confidence that help me. (NB: I have linked to blog posts I have written on them)
1. Step over and through limiting boundaries. I had to constantly work at not letting my fears and limiting beliefs stop me
2. Act assertively/ask for what you want. Both of these were not available to me when I lacked self confidence and I had to learn how to do both – act assertively in situations and ask people for what I wanted.
3. Believe I deserve better/enjoy high standards. Being single by choice I am called “fussy” and “upperty” and all kinds of words because I refuse to lower my standards when it comes to finding a partner and in other areas of my life. I just believe I deserve better and I am willing to hold out for it.
4. Complete the incompleteness. Unresolved arguments, unpaid bills, unfinished work – I get it all done so it is not weighing heavily on my mind and sucking my energy
5. Stop putting up with what isn’t working . If it is time to change or end something I will. I used to spend time in a job I hated, being married and unhappy, hating the way I looked. I made the decision to end things and change others – not everything has to end because it isn’t working, if I can work on it I will.
6. Focused on my personal growth and self development. You really can’t read one book or attend one course and think that everything will be better because it won’t. You need to constantly and consistently invest in your personal growth and self development but the important thing is to use what you learn until it becomes a natural part of your being.
7. Define and live my life on my terms. I take into account the people who matter most to me when I make decisions like my children and my parents. Outside of that I pretty much decide what I want to do and get on with it. Opinions of children and parents will be listened to and my actions decided but I will never stop something I really want to do because they are not happy (and to be honest they would never ask me to)
These are the seven anchors that help me hold on to a life where I experience self confidence and freedom. For me freedom is what being confident is all about – being free to be you, speak the way you choose and make decisions that will help you enjoy your life.
I am about to write my next eBook on this very topic. It will become part of the “Feel and Grow Confident” membership site I am slowly but surely putting together as I focus on the different aspects that have helped me get to where I am now based on what I have defined as important to me.
Why use the word anchor?
When you think about an anchor on a boat its job is to keep that boat steady and in place. To stop it from drifting off and becoming damaged.
In NLP and anchor is used to help a person associate with a particular feeling or emotion. For example if as a child you had fun playing a particular game years later as an adult if you see that game you are immediately reminded of those great times. The game has anchored you to your childhood.
Another way it is used – if at any given moment you want to remind yourself to be happy you recall happy events in order to bring up the feelings of happiness then simple touch your thumb or some other easily accessible part of your body. You need to work with a practitioner to help this work but what happens is every time you touch that part of your body you are immediately connected to the feelings. It is a great tool for confidence if before walking into a room or before standing up to give a talk you can simply press your thumb or your ear lobe and you feel confidence come flooding in to you!
So, hopefully you know why I chose to use the word anchor 
If you haven’t invested in a copy of one of my eBooks click the link to visit my self confidence eBook store – I enjoy writing them and I hope they help you work towards building self confidence.
About Diane Corriette
I write on this self development blog about building self confidence, and living a life of full self expression where you are free to be you. Being able to be confident is not so much about how you think but what you feel. To successfully build self confidence you must use your thoughts to create an image of who you want to be, and your emotions to help you feel this amazing new you and then visualise & focus on it until it becomes your reality.
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7 self confidence anchors every woman wants: When you see a woman full of self confidence… http://t.co/yWVr4h01
I still need to find ways to step over and through my limiting boundaries. I keep hoping I will get strong enough to do it. When you are at the beginning it can be hard
Yes, the beginning of anything is always hard. Once you take a small step once and you experience success it will make you strong enough to take the next small step and the next one. Using affirmations can be a great way to help you find the inner strength to take the first step. I have blog posts on using affirmations so use the search bar (towards the top on the right) and take a look.
7 self confidence anchors every woman wants http://t.co/sj81lNeP via @beconfidentlady
7 self confidence anchors every woman wants http://t.co/8xkVOJ3O via @beconfidentlady
Great article Diane. Women need to hear some positive messages every now and then.
I like your metaphor of using an anchor – we can all do with different ways to keep ourselves grounded in positive habits and attitudes. Good luck with your new eBook
I do my best to complete incomplete things and not put up with things that are not working but it seems an ongoing thing to have to do. It never stops. I guess that is life but sometimes I wish I would get through a day without having to think of something else I need to get done.
Yes it can feel as if things never stop. I remember when I first started monitoring my thoughts – I thought I would go crazy. Now doing that isn’t recommended but at the time every thought I had I asked myself questions about what made me think/say that and I did that every day for about 3 years before I decided it was enough
It does get easier
Thanks Michael and Gina. Appreciate your comments.