Ask For What You Want Session 4 : What’s the payoff?

There is a payoff in everything we do in life – even if we are not fully aware of what it is or the fact that we do something because of the payoff. No matter how bad a situation is in your life if you look deep enough you will find the payoff.

What is your payoff for not asking for what you want?

When you don’t ask do you get to play victim? Or do you get to be right about something? Maybe you feel you shouldn’t have to ask and that people should ask you if you need help, or money…..

What’s the payoff for staying stuck in your current situation? Do you get to be the hero? Does everyone get to feel sorry for you?

What’s the payoff for not losing weight? Do you get to complain about how unfair life is? Do you get to hide inside and not face the world because you are larger than most? Maybe it stops you from finding that special person you want to be with.

In everything we do there is a payoff and when you can sit and self reflect – that is look back on a day, week, month, year or even your whole life, you will recognise your payoffs for events in your life.

I had a client who would make herself ill to gain attention from her husband. The only time he paid her love and attention was when she wasn’t well and rather than ask for love and attention she would make herself ill so that she received it. Receiving love and attention was her payoff but she destroyed her health to do it.

You need to be brave and come out of denial in order to make this work but if you want to get yourself into a place where you can always ask for what you want then you must recognise what the payoff is when you don’t.

Your payoff will stop you from asking but when you look at it and work through it then it will leave you with the freedom to go ahead and ask. So first go back and make sure you have identified WHY you can’t ask and then look at what the pay off is for not asking. Armed with the answer to those two areas you will easily be able to begin the process of asking for what you want.

I hope you enjoyed reading session 4 of Ask For What You Want. Look out for other sessions in this free personal development ecourse.

And in the spirit of asking… “If you enjoy reading this would you like a copy of my ebook?”

http://www.howtobooklets.net/ask-for-what-you-want/

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