Mediocrity Limits Self Confidence
2. You limit your self confidence when you accept and live with mediocrity
The definition of mediocrity is when something is either good nor bad but barely adequate. That was my life several years ago. I went through the normal duty of details day in day out never stopping to think that I could expect more for myself. I was in my early 30s when I realised that I could have spent my life traveling the world and for the first time I realised I wasn’t living the life I wanted. I felt I had cheated myself out of a great life because of my fears and doubts and wanted to focus on the regret of not doing enough with my life.
I had stayed the same to avoid the fear of taking a risk and changing the way things were right now. I believed that living with the status quo was better than going after my dreams and living a life of uncertainty and “not knowing” even though I was bored with the life I was living.
The illusion and lie that I told myself was that my life may be boring but at least it was secure and it was this apparent “security” that kept me stuck in a job I hated, in a relationship I wasn’t happy with and afraid to move on and achieve more.
Wanting to achieve something with your life involves risk. Whilst you can set goals and plan you never know the outcome until you get there. Things can go horribly wrong and not turn out like you expect – that is a risk that comes with changing your life. The thing to remember is it can also go wonderfully right and turn out better than you ever expected.
How did I finally get myself ready to embrace change? Well I had to stop focusing on what might go wrong or even what might go right. I had a plan of what I wanted to achieve and I worked towards it, I focused on the small steps I was taking along the way and adjusted what I was doing according to the results I was getting. If things really didn’t work out I either changed my goal or kept working at it (one of my weaknesses is working at something long after I should have changed course!) until I achieved it.
It was focusing on the progress and not on the end result that got me though. I made the decision to enjoy the challenges (or at least expect them) and the successes, to delight in my own personal development as I began to realise just how different I had become.
If you are heading towards a goal right now and frustrated with the process or the fact that you haven’t achieved it try taking your eye off the end target and enjoy where you are right now, today – even if the situation is a challenging one.
The question here is “What are you going to do to ensure that the next 12 months becomes your best year ever?”
For those of you who were like me and are too afraid to change your life because you are living a life of “security” allow me to bust your bubble. Firstly, you want more I can guarantee you that otherwise you would not be reading this now. Secondly, nothing is secure. Marriages fail, jobs are lost, people leave. The only secure thing we can definitely say is coming our way is death!
Isn’t it time for something more than just the same ole, same ole, status quo?
Finding The Motivation To Move Through Mediocrity
Once I decided it was time to do something different in my life actually deciding what to do first kept me stumped and confused for a while. In the end there were three few things I remembering doing that helped.
- I pushed myself to do more at work and home. I had gotten myself into this routine of just doing enough to get by and no more. I decided to take on more responsibility at work and show them that they could count on me for more than I had been doing. I also decided to make more of an effort to create a life for myself outside of the stuff I always did with my then husband.
- Expected more. I never really expected much of myself or for myself. As I began to experience success with number one I then began to expect more of myself and push myself to do even more. I also made the decision that I should expect more for myself too. They were not big things – or at least for me they were big but they may not seem that way to you. I did things like going out alone and driving different cars (I took over running the car fleet at work – before that I was convinced I could only ever drive one type of car) which really helped. Every few days I was driving a different car and I had to get used to driving it. I got to choose to drive a car home if there were any spare after all the sales workforce had left for the day. No sooner did I get used to one car and one of the workforce needed it so I had to swap it for something else that was spare. This really got me to see how quickly I could change. It was a huge thing for me.
- Changed the way I looked at people. I was judgmental. I would look at the way a person dressed, the things they said (especially if they were really loud) and did and I judged them. Mainly I judged because I was jealous. I wanted to be able to wear that short skirt and low top, or be able to hold a bunch of people captive in a conversation. Being judgmental kept me stuck because I was too afraid to step out in case someone said anything about me. It took a lot to stop myself from looking at a women and being critical about what she was wearing – I literally had to start humming in my head when I heard my inner voice start up. The thing is eventually it stopped and if I find myself looking at something even before judgmental words can begin forming in my mind I start humming
Living with mediocrity kills self confidence and you need to expect more of yourself and for yourself.
One thing that helped me work through my life was having my own life coach. If you feel as if a life coach would support you in embracing change as well as help you work out what you need to do to make it as smooth a process as possible then click here to find out about my life coaching support.
About Diane Corriette
I write on this self development blog about building self confidence, and living a life of full self expression where you are free to be you. Being able to be confident is not so much about how you think but what you feel. To successfully build self confidence you must use your thoughts to create an image of who you want to be, and your emotions to help you feel this amazing new you and then visualise & focus on it until it becomes your reality.
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It is too easy to keep everything the same but sometimes it is more comfortable doing it that way.
I used to be afraid to ‘think out of the box’ and try something different. I found making small changes helped and they grew into bigger ones. I am still fairly cautious but getting there
I need to expect more of myself and for myself too – I think this is the area I need to focus my attention on mostly. Thank you
@Sonya. I know exactly how you feel – my life was comfortable for a long time before I made a change and eventually I decided that there was a lot that I wanted to experience in my life and keeping things the same would not allow me to do that.
@Gina. Little steps – progress – is a great way to do this. I have made a few huge and major changes all at once but I can handle it that way too. We all need to work with what we have.
@Sally. It is great that you have recognised that and at least now you will be able to start focusing on expecting more for yourself.