4 Easy Ways To Improve Your Mood
Do you want to know the secret to becoming unstoppable? - it's all about building selfWhy Friends Are A Blessing
I spent the last few days in self reflection and looking at the relationship I have with people that I consider my “Inner circle”
I have never been one for having a large number of friends but always preferring to have a small group of people that I trust my life with.
Over the last few months work has stopped completely. Knowing that my life is a reflection of what I believe I really had to look at why I had chosen to put myself in that position and I realised that there was a payoff in what I was doing.
My payoff for having no work coming in (and therefore no money) was that I got to stop having to be the “great” one. I call myself a reluctant leader because so many people look to me for inspiration and sometimes I really don’t want it. I just want to sit down and be ordinary and hide away so I can be prone to self sabotaging my success.
So the work stopped and the money stopped. Now I needed help and I had to go out to those who know me the best (I will only ever ask for help from people I have known for years!) and tell them I’m in trouble. What I had hoped (remember this is going on unconsciously and I only realised it after self reflection) is that they would think I was useless. I thought they would believe I am not the great person that they thought I was because I was sitting at home with no work and no money.
The payoff for not having work and not bringing in money was
1. People would think I was hopeless and give up on me – which meant I no longer had to be great (its hard work being great in the eyes of others!)
2. I had to be rescued by close friends who helped me out financially
3. I could get a job, receive a monthly salary, go in and do the job and go home… never having to think about finding new clients, speaking at events, inspiring people or doing anything like that ever again….!
That was my payoff… did I like that…. of course not which is why I put my life back on track. When you know what the payoff is for any situation in your life you have two choices
a. Live with it
b. Do something about it
At least if I had chosen to live with my payoffs I would know that I could never blame anyone for how my life turns out except me!
The thing is my friends still kept telling me I was great. They still kept telling me they believed in me. They put money in my bank account because they believe in my ability to fulfill my dreams. Not having work and not making money did nothing to change their opinion of me at all.
The most powerful thing was the newest member of my inner circle and the man I call “my future husband” – when I told him about getting a job he just flat refused to accept that I would do that. He reached in me and found something I couldn’t find in myself and in that moment everything changed.
Sometimes living with the payoff can seem easier than going for your dream but what you do is rob yourself of experiencing the life that God (or whoever you believe in) has planned for you. At the end of your greatest challenge is your greatest gift if you can only see the challenge through.
I am still on my path and I have a circle of friends who wouldn’t let it be any other way. For that I am eternally greatful. Yesterday the door opened to bringing in the potential of a fairly large coaching contract and I was told of an area I could do some work in that would bring a lot of work for me. I decided not to live with the payoff and get back to the job of helping people “discover greatness” and when I did that opportunities presented themselves.
When you are open to looking at what’s wrong and working through it you then open the door for new people, opportunities and events to enter your life.
So my friends have been a true blessing.
How are your friends a blessing? What would they do for you or with you to help you?
When was the last time you told them about the difference they made to you? I truly believe in always telling people when they made a difference to me and thanking them for it. Sometimes they don’t even realise that what they said had an impact on me – which is another reason why its important to tell them.
So let your friends know they mean the world to you and if you don’t have friends that you feel that way about go build yourself a new circle of friends!
Do you want to know the secret to becoming unstoppable? - it's all about building selfAsk 4 what u want Session 3: Reptition is the mother of all that’s good
Once you have identified what stops you from asking for what you want and you begin the process of actually asking people it’s important you keep the flow going.
Repetition works because you are doing the same thing over and over again which helps you to form a new habit so once you have asked once go ahead and do it again… and quickly!
The more you ask, the more you feel able to ask and the better you get at it. You may not always be direct and just ask for something… at first when you begin asking you may find yourself giving long winded reasons, excuses, maybe you might even beg a little 
but eventually you will come to a place where you open your mouth and just ask….
“I need to work late on Friday so can you arrange to pick the children up from school please?”
Rather than rushing about trying to fit in working late and having to pick the children up, being unsure whether you will make it in time and leaving the little cherubs standing at school waiting for you…. you simply ask your partner to take the time needed to pick them up instead.
It’s easy for most of us as women to shoulder the responsibility for having to do everything and juggle all the balls in the air but it’s far more powerful to just ask for help and not put yourself under as much pressure.
Once you manage to ask for help in the school run department why not try the next level… what would you love to ask for that you normally wouldn’t? Try asking your partner for a night of romance and love making. If it’s not normally something you do just go ahead and ask them if they would like to join you for a night of sensual pleasure… who would say no to that!
From my work with past clients asking for money, sex and support at work/with a business are three of the most difficult things to ask for and when you learn to ask in a way that supports the other person and gives them the right to say no (without you getting upset) you will find it becomes easier and you will begin to receive positive answers rather than negative ones.
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Get your copy of my booklet
51 Tips That Will Help You Ask For What You Want
http://www.howtobooklets.net/ask-for-what-you-want/
Do you want to know the secret to becoming unstoppable? - it's all about building self