Science of Getting Rich Chapter 16
The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace D Wattles
CHAPTER 16 Some Cautions and Concluding Observations
MANY PEOPLE WILL SCOFF AT THE IDEA that there is an exact science of getting rich.
Holding the impression that the supply of wealth is limited, they will insist that social and governmental institutions must be changed before even any considerable number of people can acquire a competence.
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Ask For What You Want Session 4 : What’s the payoff?
There is a payoff in everything we do in life – even if we are not fully aware of what it is or the fact that we do something because of the payoff. No matter how bad a situation is in your life if you look deep enough you will find the payoff.
What is your payoff for not asking for what you want?
When you don’t ask do you get to play victim? Or do you get to be right about something? Maybe you feel you shouldn’t have to ask and that people should ask you if you need help, or money…..
What’s the payoff for staying stuck in your current situation? Do you get to be the hero? Does everyone get to feel sorry for you?
What’s the payoff for not losing weight? Do you get to complain about how unfair life is? Do you get to hide inside and not face the world because you are larger than most? Maybe it stops you from finding that special person you want to be with.
In everything we do there is a payoff and when you can sit and self reflect – that is look back on a day, week, month, year or even your whole life, you will recognise your payoffs for events in your life.
I had a client who would make herself ill to gain attention from her husband. The only time he paid her love and attention was when she wasn’t well and rather than ask for love and attention she would make herself ill so that she received it. Receiving love and attention was her payoff but she destroyed her health to do it.
You need to be brave and come out of denial in order to make this work but if you want to get yourself into a place where you can always ask for what you want then you must recognise what the payoff is when you don’t.
Your payoff will stop you from asking but when you look at it and work through it then it will leave you with the freedom to go ahead and ask. So first go back and make sure you have identified WHY you can’t ask and then look at what the pay off is for not asking. Armed with the answer to those two areas you will easily be able to begin the process of asking for what you want.
I hope you enjoyed reading session 4 of Ask For What You Want. Look out for other sessions in this free personal development ecourse.
And in the spirit of asking… “If you enjoy reading this would you like a copy of my ebook?”
http://www.howtobooklets.net/ask-for-what-you-want/
Why Friends Are A Blessing
I spent the last few days in self reflection and looking at the relationship I have with people that I consider my “Inner circle”
I have never been one for having a large number of friends but always preferring to have a small group of people that I trust my life with.
Over the last few months work has stopped completely. Knowing that my life is a reflection of what I believe I really had to look at why I had chosen to put myself in that position and I realised that there was a payoff in what I was doing.
My payoff for having no work coming in (and therefore no money) was that I got to stop having to be the “great” one. I call myself a reluctant leader because so many people look to me for inspiration and sometimes I really don’t want it. I just want to sit down and be ordinary and hide away so I can be prone to self sabotaging my success.
So the work stopped and the money stopped. Now I needed help and I had to go out to those who know me the best (I will only ever ask for help from people I have known for years!) and tell them I’m in trouble. What I had hoped (remember this is going on unconsciously and I only realised it after self reflection) is that they would think I was useless. I thought they would believe I am not the great person that they thought I was because I was sitting at home with no work and no money.
The payoff for not having work and not bringing in money was
1. People would think I was hopeless and give up on me – which meant I no longer had to be great (its hard work being great in the eyes of others!)
2. I had to be rescued by close friends who helped me out financially
3. I could get a job, receive a monthly salary, go in and do the job and go home… never having to think about finding new clients, speaking at events, inspiring people or doing anything like that ever again….!
That was my payoff… did I like that…. of course not which is why I put my life back on track. When you know what the payoff is for any situation in your life you have two choices
a. Live with it
b. Do something about it
At least if I had chosen to live with my payoffs I would know that I could never blame anyone for how my life turns out except me!
The thing is my friends still kept telling me I was great. They still kept telling me they believed in me. They put money in my bank account because they believe in my ability to fulfill my dreams. Not having work and not making money did nothing to change their opinion of me at all.
The most powerful thing was the newest member of my inner circle and the man I call “my future husband” – when I told him about getting a job he just flat refused to accept that I would do that. He reached in me and found something I couldn’t find in myself and in that moment everything changed.
Sometimes living with the payoff can seem easier than going for your dream but what you do is rob yourself of experiencing the life that God (or whoever you believe in) has planned for you. At the end of your greatest challenge is your greatest gift if you can only see the challenge through.
I am still on my path and I have a circle of friends who wouldn’t let it be any other way. For that I am eternally greatful. Yesterday the door opened to bringing in the potential of a fairly large coaching contract and I was told of an area I could do some work in that would bring a lot of work for me. I decided not to live with the payoff and get back to the job of helping people “discover greatness” and when I did that opportunities presented themselves.
When you are open to looking at what’s wrong and working through it you then open the door for new people, opportunities and events to enter your life.
So my friends have been a true blessing.
How are your friends a blessing? What would they do for you or with you to help you?
When was the last time you told them about the difference they made to you? I truly believe in always telling people when they made a difference to me and thanking them for it. Sometimes they don’t even realise that what they said had an impact on me – which is another reason why its important to tell them.
So let your friends know they mean the world to you and if you don’t have friends that you feel that way about go build yourself a new circle of friends!
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