To change or not to change

To Make A Change Or Not To Make A Change? – That Is The Question!

Life can be exciting when you choose to embark upon something new, something different, something you thought you could never do but you are willing to give it a go. But for many change is anything but exciting, it can be daunting, scary and full of fear.

So what makes the difference between someone who embraces change and someone who shrinks at the thought of doing things differently? In my years of working with women looking to make a major change in their life the difference has been past experiences, inner belief, and mindset.

In a world where our attention focuses mainly on what could go wrong rather than how something could succeed we have been conditioned to expect the worse, and our past experiences of witnessing or hearing about bad circumstances or events has taught us to be fearful of stepping out and exploring change, unless we know for certain that it will be successful.

Yet how many of us know that nothing in life is certain? Intellectually, how certain are you that certainty does not exist? Marriages end, businesses go bankrupt, employers downsize; reality shows us that “a sure thing” is hard to come by – and yet we still hold on in the hope that it will present itself to us.

What past experience are you using to hold you back and stop you from change? Did a friend end up with a cheating husband, which is why you won’t consider marriage? Did your uncle lose his business after re-mortgaging his house? So you couldn’t possibly consider running your own business? Spend some time looking at the past experiences that are making change fearful for you. Are you allowing yourself to create a future that is based on your (or even worse, other people’s) past experiences?

Now look at your inner belief, your inner-talk, what do you say to yourself that would stop you making a change? Many people are so hard on themselves that they are their own worst enemy. They are desperate to change but their inner voice holds them back with “what might happen”. Do you have a “what if” conversation raging inside you right now? What’s it saying? How is it holding you back? Spend some time identifying where your inner talk stops you from making a change, even one you desperately want to make, because of what might happen if you make it.

I am not asking you to avoid having these conversations with yourself, in fact you should encourage them, because what you are doing is bringing up issues that concern you. It is important you embrace these conversations and use them to work through what you can do to avoid possible pitfalls, but it is important not to allow them to hold you back and stop you from attempting something new.

Ultimately, the determining factor in deciding whether you make a change or not will be your mindset, what you think about the potential change and whether you are willing to work through your negative inner-talk and past experiences and go for it!

How you think and feel will always have dominance over whether you act, and it is possible to act even in the midst of fear if you find the desire and determination to do it.

When I talk about mindset I am not only referring to what you think about a situation but also how you feel about it, the alignment of both head and heart!

When considering whether to make a change, or not, the best possible scenario you can ask for is not only rationally thinking about why this change will be a positive experience worth embarking upon, but also feeling the emotions that help you to feel emotionally aligned with that. These emotions will be different for everyone and can range from joy, excitement, desire, and pride to accomplishment, excitement, and determination, one or all of those emotions may stir within you.

When a decision is necessary on whether to make a change relying on past experiences and negative inner-talk will ensure you stay stuck and unable to move. The best way to help you move through these situations is to develop your mindset, either through books, CDs, audios or seminars, so that your decision to make a change, or not to make a change will be based upon what your desire and your determination to achieve it. This is where true personal growth and empowerment lies.