When Attraction Goes Wrong
One of the things about showing sincere affection – whether you are conscious of what you are doing or not – is that there will always be those people who turn it into something it definitely is not.
I remember in 2005 inviting a plumber round to take a look at my heating system because it needed work done to it. This was someone I met at a BNI breakfast meeting so the assumption is that you are pretty safe in their hands. He came over and immediately picked up on my energy and decided to turn it into an excuse to get way too familiar.
I took him to court for “sexual assualt” and lost because when the Police came round to take a statement the original two officers who visited made no notes and went back to their office and wrote up our conversation. Turns out in his notes he put something that this man had done to me that I didn’t mention (because it didn’t happen). Because of that I was made out to be the one lying – after all the Police never make mistakes, right….! It couldn’t possibly be that in the journey from my house back to the station he made an error and put down something I didn’t say.
The worst of it is I never saw what he wrote. It was passed on to a Detective Constable (D.C.) and he came to see me – so I didn’t even sign to say that what this officer had written was correct.
But it seems the Police are never wrong so it must be me that’s made it up and is lying!
Don’t you just love the legal system.
Ultimately though I did what I set out to do and that was to ensure he thought twice before trying anything else with other women. This man walks into the homes of women all the time and let’s face it many wives wouldn’t tell her husband this man touched her. In most cases the response would probably be “what did you do to make him do that!”
Not only did this man go around touching women but he then talked about being a “trained professional” who could help me through whatever I was going through. Imagine that….. a trained psycho-plumber who wanted to mess me up and fix me at the same time. :p
Despite the fact that I was in a solid 2 year relationship at the time they made out I was lonely and desperate.
Despite the fact that another woman in the BNI group (in fact 2 women) went to court to speak up against him it was all lost because of something an officer wrote down hours after talking to me.
That event made me question what it is I was “giving off” to invite such trouble and it made me question ever being open with another human being (man!) again. My partner at the time – ever supportive human being that he is – pleaded with me to not let this change who I am. The very quality I was about to try and stifle was what he loved best about me. And I guess if I had tried to stop being me then this plumber “man” would have won.
I have learnt to draw it back into me though when I want to. I had to remember that I have complete control of my body, energy, and thoughts and now I can become completely “unattractive and un-noticeable” if I feel the need to.
About Diane Corriette
I write on this self development blog about building self confidence, and living a life of full self expression where you are free to be you. Being able to be confident is not so much about how you think but what you feel. To successfully build self confidence you must use your thoughts to create an image of who you want to be, and your emotions to help you feel this amazing new you and then visualise & focus on it until it becomes your reality.
Random Posts
Related Posts
Tags
Share This
Diane, really enjoyed your description of thinking through this experience and coming to the understanding that you could “draw back into you” when you don’t want to send out “attraction vibes.”
It made me remember a story I once heard told by Shelley Winters, who had been a close friend of Marilyn Monroe. Ms. Winters as used to Monroe attracting a great deal of attention wherever they went. One afternoon, they were having a “girl’s day out,” shopping, having lunch, and no one paid any attention to Marilyn. When Winters commented on this, Marilyn said “Oh, that’s because I’m not being Monroe. She’s not really me, you know. She’s just an attitude I can put on or take off like a coat.”
Winters expressed some doubt about this, and Marilyn said “Here. I’ll prove it to you.”
winters said “She didn’t do anything I could see. She didn’t take off her sunglasses or her scarf. But she certainly did something inside, because all of a sudden someone in the cafe yelled “Monroe!” And everyone turned, looked at her, started coming up to her and asking for autographs. We had to call a cab to escape!”
When they got into the taxi, Marilyn said “You see why I keep her turned off? She’s such a pain when I want to go shopping or have lunch.”
That story is a brilliant example of a woman that learned how to control and project her attitude.
That’s a fantastic story, thanks for sharing Bonnie. It must have helped her crazy life so much to be able to do that. when you are “switched on” all the time it’s a nightmare and I used to think I had to be.
It has taken many years and far too many experiences to understand the power inherent in all of us, our ability to “turn on that power” and then “turn it off” when the need arises.
Diane, thank you for the reminder.
@Bonnie Boots, Marilyn was one of the best role models for this power. Thanks for sharing that story.
Rhonda LaShae