Values‑Based Decision Rules That Stop Overthinking

When your decisions reflect your values, you will not waste energy wondering if you have made the right call. You can move forward without second-guessing, knowing your choices match the life you actually want and not the one you have accidentally drifted into.

Clear decision-making is not about being perfect. It’s about building a reliable process so you can choose deliberately, even when life feels messy.

Why Values-Based Decisions Matters

• Protects your time and energy - Every unclear “yes” steals from what matters most.
• Reduces mental load - Clear rules mean fewer endless pros-and-cons lists.
• Keeps you on your own path - You’re less likely to be pulled into other people’s priorities.
• Supports self-authorship - When you decide consciously, you’re writing your own life story instead of letting circumstances write it for you.

Step 1: Anchor Every Decision to Your Values

If you’ve clarified your values (Step 1 in this pillar), use them as a decision filter.

Exercise: The Values Filter

Write your 3–5 core values on a small card or note in your phone.

When a decision comes up, ask:

Does this align with at least one of my top values?

Will it pull me away from any of my values?

If it strongly supports your values → likely a yes.
If it undermines them → likely a no or not now.

Step 2: Spot the “Default Yes”

Many of us have an automatic “yes” to requests, opportunities, or habits — even if they don’t serve us. That’s how other people’s priorities sneak into our schedule.

Quick Check Prompt:

“If I say yes to this, what am I saying no to?”

By asking this, you make the hidden trade-off visible. Often, this alone is enough to shift your answer.

Step 3: Separate Emotion from Evidence

When a decision feels urgent, emotions can flood the process.
Slowing down lets you check both how you feel and what you know.

The 2-Minute Pause

Name the emotion you feel about the decision.

List the facts you know for sure.

Compare: Are you deciding based on emotion, evidence, or both?

Step 4: Use the “Write Your Chapter” Test

Here’s where self-authorship enters the decision process.

Ask:

“If I were writing the next chapter of my life, would I choose this plotline?”

This question forces you to think beyond the immediate choice and see the bigger story you’re creating.

If it moves the story toward the life you want → green light.

If it creates a subplot you don’t want → pause or decline.

Step 5: Set Personal Decision Rules

Decision fatigue sets in when you start from scratch every time. Rules turn repeated decisions into quick, low-stress choices.

Examples of Decision Rules:

No new commitments without a 24-hour review.

No meetings before 10 a.m. to protect creative time.

No spending over £100 without sleeping on it.

Rules don’t limit you — they protect your attention for what matters.

Step 6: Define Your “Not Now” List

Some choices aren’t a full “no” — they’re just a “not yet.”
This keeps your focus intact without feeling like you’ve closed the door.

Exercise: The Not Now Notebook

Write down ideas, projects, or invitations you like but can’t prioritise.

Review quarterly — some will move up, others will drop off.

Step 7: Reflect and Adjust

Clarity isn’t set-and-forget. Review your recent decisions:

• Which felt best afterward?
• Which drained you?
• Were there any “yes” decisions that were actually self-betrayals?

Use these insights to tweak your filters and rules.

Quick Reference: Decide With Clarity Checklist

Filter through values - Use your top values as the first decision test.

Spot the default yes - Question the trade-offs of every agreement.

Separate emotion from evidence - Balance feeling with fact.

Write your chapter - Choose what fits your self-authored life.

Set personal rules - Automate repeated decisions.

Keep a “not now” list - Defer without derailing focus.

Review regularly - Learn from past choices.