Small Steps to Start Living a Self-Authored Life

When you are first hit with the understanding that you have been living by someone elses script, it can be tempting to want to change everything at once. I remember that's exactly what I wanted to do - redecorate the whole house, move cities, overhaul all of my routines.

The problem? Big, sweeping changes can be overwhelming, expensive, and unsustainable.

The good news: self-authorship isn’t built in grand gestures. It’s built in small, consistent choices that reclaim your life from the inside out.

Why Small Steps Work

When you are reclaiming your life, every choice is an act of self-trust. The small steps matter because they:

• Reduce the fear of change — your brain isn’t as likely to push back
• Build evidence that you can choose differently and handle the outcome
• Create momentum that naturally leads to bigger shifts

How to Start Small

The goal here isn’t to do everything - it’s to take one action at a time and let it stick.

Start with a Values Check
Before you make changes, get clear on what you are protecting or creating. Ask yourself:

• What do I want more of in my life right now?
• What am I no longer willing to trade my time, energy, or peace for?

Small step: Write your top three values on a sticky note or in your phone. Use them as a filter for small daily decisions.

Redesign Your “Default Yes”
If you have been saying yes automatically to extra work, social invites, or family requests - pause.

Small step: For one week, replace “yes” with “I’ll get back to you.” This gives you space to check if the request aligns with your values.

Create a Protected Hour
You don’t have to free up whole days. One hour a week that’s yours, without explanation, is enough to start.

Small step: Block one recurring hour in your calendar for something that energises you — reading, a hobby, a walk, or nothing at all.

Change One Routine That No Longer Fits
Routines shape your days and your days shape your life.

Small step: Swap one small habit for something more aligned.

Example: Replace 30 minutes of doomscrolling with 30 minutes of learning a skill you have been curious about.

Give Yourself Permission to Stop
Sometimes self-authorship is about what you remove.

Small step: Identify one commitment that drains you but doesn’t add value, and let it go this month.

Speak a Small Truth
If you’ve been avoiding saying what you really think, start tiny.

Small step: Share one honest opinion in a safe conversation this week, nothing dramatic, just something real.

Everyday Example
Let’s say you have been overworking because you feel guilty leaving “before the boss.”

Your self-authored small step might be to leave on time one day this week and notice what happens.

Chances are, the world won’t collapse, but your energy will thank you.

Why This Can Feel Hard
Small steps can feel too small like they won’t make a difference. But the reality is, they compound.
Each micro-shift you make becomes proof that you’re capable of making choices for yourself.

Over time, these choices add up to a life that feels completely different.

Apply the Learning in Small Ways
For the next 7 days pick one small step from this list that feels doable.
Commit to it for the week. Keep a short note each day on how it felt and what you noticed.

At the end of the week, decide if you want to:

• Keep it
• Build on it
• Swap it for another

Capture the Takeaway
Self-authorship isn’t a one-time event, it’s a daily practice. You don’t have to rebuild your life in a weekend. You just have to take one step, and then another, until the life you are living matches the life you want.