Why Emotional Permission Is Powerful

Somewhere along the way, many of us got the message that emotions are problems to be solved.
That sadness means something is wrong, anger should be suppressed or that fear is a sign of weakness. That tears are to be wiped away quickly, preferably before anyone sees.

And when that message gets internalized, it doesn’t just shape how we respond to other people’s emotions. It shapes how we respond to our own. We become our own emotional managers, trying to stay composed, “positive,” and productive, no matter what we’re really feeling underneath.

But here’s a permission slip we all need: You are allowed to feel without fixing.

When You Become the One You Are Trying to Manage

You have likely been there. You feel anxious, and your first thought is: “I shouldn’t be this stressed. I need to calm down.”

You feel sadness creep in, and your inner voice says: “Come on, don’t get emotional. Push through.”

You feel anger rise, and shame follows quickly behind it: “This is too much. Be nicer. Don’t snap.”

We learn to override, rationalize and suppress.

But that pattern of shutting down your emotional truth to appear “fine”  disconnects you from the most valuable feedback system you have. Because your emotions are not problems. They are information. They’re messengers, not threats. And their job isn’t to ruin your day but to remind you of what matters.

What Happens When You Try to Fix Instead of Feel

When you try to fix emotions too quickly, you bypass your own reality. You send yourself a subtle message: This isn’t okay. You need to be different.

That creates emotional mistrust. You start doubting your instincts. You stop checking in with your body. You become reactive instead of responsive because the feeling never got processed, only pushed down. 

This shows up as:

• Snapping at others even though you Are “fine”
• Feeling numb when you actually need rest
• Internalizing criticism that wasn’t even about you
• Shame for crying, fear for being angry, guilt for being tired

But the real power isn’t in pushing through. It’s in pausing with compassion.

“I don’t need to fix this feeling. I just need to feel it safely.”

That sentence alone can shift everything. 

What Emotional Permission Looks Like in Real Life

You don’t need to wallow or spiral to honor your feelings. Emotional permission is not indulgence it’s insight. Here are a few gentle ways to practice it:

Name it: “I’m feeling overwhelmed right now.”

Normalize it: “It’s okay to feel this. It makes sense.”

Notice it: “Where do I feel this in my body?”

Nurture it: “What do I need to feel safe while this moves through?”

Sometimes that might mean journaling. Sometimes it’s sitting with your hand on your chest for 90 seconds. Sometimes it’s stepping away from a conversation and breathing.

The goal isn’t to “get over it.” The goal is to make room for it without judgment.
Because that’s where self-trust grows. 

The Shame Layer: “Too Sensitive,” “Too Emotional,” “Too Much”
Many women carry the weight of being called “too emotional” at some point in their lives.
So when real emotion arises like tears, anxiety, irritation, the impulse is to tighten up, shut down, or apologise. But emotional intelligence isn’t about controlling your emotions into nonexistence.

It’s about creating enough inner safety to let them exist without panic.

You are not too emotional.
You have just never been taught how to feel without being judged, especially by yourself.
Let’s change that.

Try These Reframes

The next time you feel something uncomfortable, instead of rushing to logic, action, or suppression try one of these:

“This is valid. This will pass.”

“I can sit with this for a moment. I don’t need to rush it away.”

“There’s wisdom here. I’m just learning how to listen.”

Emotions become less overwhelming when we stop fighting them.

Their intensity often comes not from the feeling itself but from the energy we use trying to shut it down.

Why This Is Transformational

This small shift from fixing to feeling creates powerful long-term changes:

• You develop a more stable, resilient nervous system.
• You stop reacting from old patterns.
• You begin responding to life from a grounded place.
• You trust your gut more often, and second-guess yourself less.
• You move from emotional self-rejection to emotional self-trust.

In other words, you become the person who has your own back.  Not just when everything is going well, but when you are messy, emotional, and human.

Want to Keep Practicing This?
If this resonates with you, 51 Permission Slips for Women Who’ve Had Enough is packed with reframes like this - permission to feel, pause, say no, speak clearly, and show up more fully as yourself.

You’ll find gentle scripts, mindset shifts, and journal prompts inside that help you reclaim your emotional space without guilt or apology. It’s available now in the Inspirational Guidance shop. Because your feelings don’t need fixing. They just need witnessing.
And you are allowed to be the one who holds space for your own emotional truth - gently, bravely, and without rushing through it.