I wanted to focus on the small moments that make life feel like yours again because I understand and appreciate what life feels like when it doesn't. For a long time, I thought changing my life meant changing everything.
My job and routines. Getting more money or confidence or certainty and I kept waiting for a breakthrough that never seemed to arrive. Then one day, nothing remarkable happened.
I bought a coffee, sat on a bench for ten minutes, and watched people walking through the park and for the first time in weeks, I noticed I wasn't thinking about my to-do list. I wasn't worrying about tomorrow. I was simply there enjoying the moment. It lasted less than ten minutes.
Looking back, I think moments like that changed my life far more than any dramatic decision ever did.
That realization became one of the reasons I created An ALIVE List.
We Wait for Big Changes
Many of us believe life will feel different when something big happens. When we lose weight or retire. When the kids leave home or work becomes less stressful. When we finally have more time but the trouble is that life keeps moving while we wait. Days become weeks and weeks become years.
Eventually we realise we have been living almost entirely on autopilot because we stopped noticing the small moments that made us feel like ourselves.
The Research That Started Me Thinking
Psychologist Barbara Fredrickson describes what she calls micro-moments of positive emotion. These are brief experiences of joy, interest, gratitude, connection or calm that may last only seconds, but over time they contribute to our emotional well-being and resilience. When I first came across that idea, something clicked. I realised I had been collecting exactly these kinds of moments for years without giving them a name.
Mine were never dramatic. They were small things like walking somewhere new or buying flowers for no reason. Reading a chapter of a novel while sitting outside with my cup of coffee. Trying a different coffee shop or walk to work. Sending someone an unexpected message and smiling at an elder.
They were ordinary but they made my ordinary days feel different. That's why I created An ALIVE List.
What Is An ALIVE List?
An ALIVE List is simply a collection of small things that make life feel more like yours.
Not achievements, goals or another list of jobs to get through. Just small experiences that remind you you are living, not simply existing.
Some people have twenty things on their list and some have a hundred. Mine changes all the time and that is part of the point. It grows as you do.
Why Small Moments Matter
One of the biggest misconceptions about change is that it has to feel dramatic but in my experience, it rarely does.
Instead, change often begins with one small decision that together begins changing how your days feel and eventually, your days become your life.
The Difference Between Existing and Feeling Alive
There is nothing wrong with routines and we all need them. The problem comes when every day feels exactly the same.
Wake up.
Work.
Cook.
Clean.
Watch television.
Sleep.
Repeat.
An ALIVE List interrupts that pattern.
It asks one simple question.
"What could I do today that would make today feel slightly more alive than yesterday?"
Sometimes the answer takes five minutes and sometimes it costs nothing at all. Yet those moments often become the ones we remember.
My Favourite Kind of Progress
People often ask me how they know whether they are making progress and I rarely ask whether they have reached a goal. Instead I ask:
"Did you do anything this week that reminded you life is meant to be lived?"
Sometimes the answer is:
"I watched the rain with a cup of tea."
"I painted for half an hour."
"I laughed until I cried."
"I took my granddaughter to feed the ducks."
Those answers tell me far more than another completed to-do list ever could.
A Few Ideas for Your Own ALIVE List
If you are not sure where to begin, start with something so small it feels almost too easy.
Listen to an album without doing anything else.
Sit in the garden with your morning coffee.
Phone someone simply because you enjoy talking to them.
Walk somewhere you have never walked before.
Bake something just because the house smells wonderful afterwards.
None of these moments will change your life on their own.
Together, they might.
Questions to Reflect On
Which moments made me smile this week?
When was the last time I completely lost track of time because I was enjoying myself?
What small experience always helps me feel more like myself?
What could I add to my ALIVE List today?
One Final Thought
I still have difficult days. An ALIVE List has never removed those. What it has done is stop me believing that life only becomes meaningful during the big milestones.
Life is mostly made up of ordinary Tuesdays and the question is not whether those ordinary days exist, but whether we notice the moments within them that remind us we are alive. That is what An ALIVE List has taught me - how to experience life differently.
If you want to start your own list we have An ALIVE List builder here.
References
Fredrickson, B. L. (2001). The role of positive emotions in positive psychology: The broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions. American Psychologist, 56(3), 218-226. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.56.3.218
